I started this project with a
curiosity of wanting to see the inside of shanties and meet the residents of these villages. What are the lives
of these people like? What leads them to this destination? My purpose for
creating this work was that I couldn’t drive by it everyday and not have my
questions answered. I needed to know their story.
This first thing I learned
from taking on this project was to detach emotionally from the people I was documenting.
I figured this out by doing the opposite first.
On my early camp visits I
left feeling sad. I wanted to help these people. Perhaps I can find them jobs, bring
food or collect clothing. I
was overwhelmed by a sense of “there by the grace of God go I.” What if I were going through this
experience? I was projected my feelings onto them.
My gut reaction was to jump
into action to do what ever I could to help. I was monitoring about five camps at the time and this included several hundred people. The more food I handed out the
more they wanted. The more I gave the more they needed. It doesn’t take a
rocket scientist to know that I was out of my league. On my own I am not going to be able to save the world. I do not have the skills or the
resources to make a significant difference to these people. Quickly I discovered that I was being pulled away from my
original mission to observe.
Trying
to solve problems for others is NOT the best use of my gifts. To be able to move forward and be
productive I had no choice but to define who I am and accept who I am not. I
am not a social worker, an activist, a
lawyer, a nonprofit, or a fundraiser and the list of who I am NOT goes on. Who I
am is a visual storyteller and it is my job to simply record and tell this
story about a time and place. Perhaps my photographs could affect people to
take action but I need to stick to what I do best and not try to become someone
who I am not.
My first lesson from STRUCTURE
OUT OF CHAOS was detachment. If I
get too emotionally involved I become the story instead of a witness. If
that happens my photographs are no longer honest and will become propaganda
manipulating the viewer on how they should feel. The photographs would become a projection of my emotions.
No one can learn without an open mind and it does not serve any good to react
emotionally without knowing the facts.
From a detached state of being I dropped my emotions and concentrated
solely on my mission to experience and not react to the story.
