Freewill for all

No picture for this post.  You will need to refer to the last entry for the image. It is Mardi Gras and the Superbowl was just here in New Orleans and I have had a long stream of house guests.  I found myself showing off my town and I took them to a spot I recently photographed. Guess who I ran into? The same homeless kid and the same girl from the last post sitting in the same spot. They were not looking as good as the last time I saw them.

His name is Joe.  Her name is Kat and no, he did not start the new job. He says he has applications out. I told him he inspired me and I wished that I would have inspired him and that I was going to be riding his case like a mother !  Poor kid has no idea how much I mean it.

The first thing I learned from this project is that people have freewill and as much as we want good things for them nothing will change until they want it too.  I would love to see this young guy do something great with his life but me wanting that for him has nothing to do with him wanting that for himself.  Unless he makes different choices, nothing in his world will change. I have to accept that.  Everyone has freewill to exercise anyway they wish. Our lives are simply a result of our own choices.

With the Superbowl in town last weekend I noticed our homeless population has completely disappeared with the exception of the young people around Covent house ( a shelter for homeless teens).  I have no idea how the homeless segment of the population has managed to disappear but I expect them to reappear soon.

Ma'am, what are you doing?

You might have noticed that I have taken a slight sabbatical from blogging. I had it in my mind that if I worked really hard on my project that I could bring it to completion in 2012.  Why is it that I plan and God laughs? I spent a lot of time, energy and money submitting proposals and marketing this project trying to get it to the next level.  Then all at once the rejections piled up fast and the disappointment was overwhelming. "This a great project" I am told but it is "not commercially viable." No, it is not a commercial venture at all.  If it was financially self supporting it would not be taking me twenty years to get it off the ground!

Ever since I started this documentary it was hard for me to start anything new. How can I split my attention when I can not get this one exhibition completed? I do not lack passion or conviction and I truly believe this story needs told and has an audience. So why is there such a blockage in getting it the attention it deserves?

A few months ago I sort of walked away from it for a while. I couldn't wrap my head around what I was doing wrong. I also came up with a new idea to photograph a different subject. It is something that is unrelated that appears to be commercially viable and I put my attention there. While out shooting for the new venture I heard a voice asking me what I was doing. I ignored them. "Ma'am, what are you doing?" They kept repeating the question until I turned around and responded "I'm just taking a few pictures."


 
When I turned around I  met the guy pictured above. I wish I can tell you I remember his name.  I do not.  I was absorbed with what I was shooting and wanted to avoid small talk, but this guy was not going to let me. With his beer in a brown paper bag he sat there like he had all the time in the world to be social. He made sure he pulled me right into a conversation whether I was interested or not. 

He explained that he has been through some hard times recently and made some really stupid mistakes. Yet on a  good note his life was turning around and that he was starting a new job on Monday. He is an iron worker and if the new job works out he will be back on his feet soon. Before long I was sharing my stories with him as well.  

I couldn't help but ask about his housing situation. He said he was living on the streets which given the area of town where we were it was no big surprise.   I pointed out to him that he looked like a young Brad Pitt. I told him "with those good looks and that pearly white perfect teeth smile there is nothing you couldn't be, do or have and yet you chose this? Wake up dude!" He is so cute even with the silly little tattoos and face piercing. His poor choices "must be driving his mama crazy with worry."  He laughed and agreed and reminded me this was all about to change and that hopefully he has learned his lesson. 

I told him about the Structure Out of Chaos project and he gave me a mutually beneficial pep talk. We both made each other promises to try harder and believe. You know, I am really glad I talked to him. The things he said seem to have had an effect on me and I hope I did the same for him. Neither one of us could encourage the other without hearing our own words and knowing we need to apply that wisdom to ourselves.  

Last weekend I sent out yet another proposal for Structure out of Chaos and plan to do more. I'll be back to blogging about the story again soon. I intend to get this project done.

Pets of the homeless

Homeless people have pets.  Or is it that the animals in crisis gravitate to the homeless people as there is a connection of souls that need each other. When I started this project in the 1990’s the encampments that I visited were rather large. Just about every day dogs and cats were dropped off because someone didn’t want them and it became the responsibility of the homeless people to see that the animals ate.  Sadly the pets were not spayed or neutered and there were endless litters of puppies and kittens.  Also in the camps were ducks and chickens that the dogs and cats seem to ignore. Chickens are popular in Miami for fresh eggs and they are a common sight around the city.  

Homeless people with pets know that they can't take them everywhere.  The owner may need to go off to eat at a shelter or meet with social workers. When ever they leave a pet even for a short period they need to trust that someone will look after it in their absence or they risk losing that companion.

The saddest most confusing experience I witnessed during this project was when  the encampments were being closed down and strangers appeared to decide the fate of the pets. Animal control came and gathered up pets to take off to the pound. Concerned citizens came to lay claim on a few puppies and kittens. None of them took into account that the animal they were taking belonged to someone.  Not only were the residents of the camp losing their shanties, their pets were being taken away as if they were neglectful caretakers.

One man had a dog (See the photo above) that went almost everywhere with him. The dog was always on a leash. On eviction day he left the dog at his shanty and went on an errand. While he gone his dog was taken away to the pound. Even if he wanted his friend back he didn’t have the transportation or the money to retrieve his beloved dog. It broke my heart because I imagined how I would feel if it happened to me.

There is certainly a gray area of what is right and what is wrong.  Just because a human is homeless does that mean they do not have the right to have a dog or a cat? From the reactions of the stranger that day I almost felt they were more concerned for the animals than the people. I was trying my best to observe and stay neutral but I had a hard time watching the homeless man I knew grieving for his dog.

Encampment residents that refused to accept “treatment” must now become wanders without shelter and the talk I heard all around me on eviction day was what about the homeless pets? I like animals a lot but what about the people?  What is going to happen to them? The answer was that treatment was offered. They have the right to refuse treatment. Outreach workers are not responsible for people that refuse treatment. I heard sorrow for the pets because the pets did not choose this existence but the people did. Is homelessness a choice? Do pets have more rights than the people? I ask this knowing that the pets in the animal shelter if not adopted will more than likely be euthanized.

I agree the majority of homeless people I photographed appeared to have substance abuse issues. But it was not true for all of them. There was not a social program for every problem there was only a list a programs dealing mostly with drugs and alcohol adiction. Regardless of why the resident was homeless the ultimatum was simple: accept a program or not. Either way, this shack will be demolished on this date and if you do not hide your pet you will be permanently separated from it.

At the camp of sex offenders (Bookville) in 2010 there were a lot of cats but no dogs. The cats were good at keeping down the rodent population however they often sprayed their territory and you could smell their presence.  Residents learned to keep valuables like spare shoes away from the prowling felines who would certainly mark them.

The sex offenders were middle class citizens unable to move home with their families due to laws prohibiting it. They were homeless by force and not homeless by choice. They wore leg monitors to assure they check into the camp under the bridge each night.  Sleeping under a bridge was not a place they wanted to call home. The residents agreed not to bring dogs there because they liked dogs and didn’t want to see the animals suffer in anyway.  When strays wandered into the camp they would find it a good home.

Is it right for homeless people to have pets when by society’s standards they are not even capable of taking care of themselves?  Or is possible that pets in their lives are sources of unconditional love that the individual may need? Regardless of the reason that a person is in a chronically homeless situation it may be nice to believe that a pet could encourage a positive transformation. Receiving unconditional love may be healing feeling even if it comes from an animal.

Here is a link to a story in Los Angeles about a dog that touched the hearts of people living on skid row: http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-dietrich-dog-skid-row-20120820,0,6492641.story

Please check out my website for this project at http://www.marylou.us/chaos .  I also have a facebook presence at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Photographer-MaryLou-Uttermohlen/201723200603?ref=hl . This part of the project was made possible by an individual artist fellowhip of $5,000 from the State of Florida. 

Establishing MUTUAL TRUST

Not only did I have to earn their trust, they had to earn mine!

I am working alone as I shoot and going inside these wooden boxes is sort of a requirement so I had to get over my fear and decide that I can trust some people.

My first day shooting alone was sort of scary.  I really wanted to move this series along which means I needed to convince people to let me in their homes. But once inside the best shots will be a mixture of artificial and natural light from the door so I need to be standing deep inside the room and they needed to be close to a door or window.

Ok, lets think about this. I am a girl alone with thousands of dollars of camera equipment and I am asking people (mostly men) to go inside their shanty and have them block the entrance?  Yes!  Indeed this sounds insane! But if I want to do this project then this is how it has to be done.

Title: Jerome's Porn Http://www.marylou.us/chaos

So here I am alone in a camp with a lot of people around. Some people like me and some do not. Some I have already photographed. I need to meet someone new and see if I can get them to let me take a portrait inside their home.

Before long I met a big dark skinned black guy named Jerome.  He was from Jamaica with a bit of an accent. Says he is in college and lives in the camp. Wow was he ever big. He was 6’3” at least and weighed about 240 pounds. He said he wanted to show me something inside his house. I wasn’t sure if I should be thrilled that I found someone to photograph or freaked out that this guy could hurt me.

I guess I was more fearful than I would admit because I didn’t want to go past his front door. If I were to get in a battle with this guy I would not win. He says “ You can’t see it from there. Come in and sit on my bed.” I was getting scared. This was so dumb. I should not go in. This guy could totally hurt me. Jerome started to pick up on my apprehension and says “Are you scared?  I won’t hurt you.  I promise. Please.” Great that comment just made my fears worse.

I was scared because people in my personal life were telling me to be scared and to stop this project but my gut said that I needed to do this documentary and whimping out was not an option. Besides, I was the one who decided the best shots were from the inside. I needed to have faith that I was there that day for a reason.   I went in and set on the bed.

When I looked up at what he wanted me to see so badly I started to laugh uncontrollably. Jerome said “ See I told you had nothing to worry about with me.” God was he ever right about that. What he wanted me to see was his collage of naked men with all their male glory. Yes indeed it was  male Porn. No,  Jerome was not interested in me at all!

So much for the great light from the doorway. There was not enough light inside to make a photograph of the porn without a flash. Early on in those days I was just working with an off camera strobe. Now I have battery operated studio strobes.

Not only did I feel relaxed enough to photograph Jerome but he brought me into his world of men dealing with their sexuality.  The island had a subculture of transvestites, transexuals and male protitutes. This is a world that lived outside the vision of my catholic upbringing in the foothills of Appalachia.

Please check out my website for this project at http://www.marylou.us/chaos .  I also have a facebook presence at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Photographer-MaryLou-Uttermohlen/201723200603?ref=hl . This part of the project was made possible by an individual artist fellowhip of $5,000 from the State of Florida.

Defining the criteria

 My desire is to show homeless people that build shelters to live in.  I can’t assume that people would be willing to let me in their houses or that they would be willing to be photographed at all.   But if I ask enough people the same question eventually someone will say yes.   Once I earn one person’s trust it gets easier to convince others. Eventually I did get inside the homes but there was not always a photo there to be created. Getting access is not enough. I need to be able to create a great image from whatever I find. 


Picture yourself being in a plywood box. The room is so small that it is hard to show it all with a wide angle lens.  If the subject is too close to the camera then a portrait will look like a headshot in front of plywood. What does that tell the viewer about this story? Not much. 


As soon as I started looking through my lens to compose photos it would become clear that it is hard to tell I was in a shantytown.  How best do I visually explain that these people are in a personal crisis and not just weekend adventurers or somebody hanging around a shed? 


It is clear I had to create portraits and not reportage. That was a given since I needed to exclude the people who did not want to be photographed.  I can show some action shots but the body of work must primarily be people in their personal space with their things.  What do they own that they are proud of? What do they own that makes them feel better when they see it. Each home had some sort of prized possession. 


On  the very first day I started this project I toured a home in Bicentennial Park with my boyfriend. When we left the home my boyfriend turned to the homeowner and said “ I noticed a personal photo on you wall. Is that your daughter?”


 “No” the man replied “I found her photo on the ground and I liked it so I kept it. I like to look at her and think of my own family.” The man spoke with a Spanish accent. I don’t know where he came from but it might be a good guess that he was an illegal immigrant that left his family behind to come here and make a better life. 


No doubt, the images I create had to include the person’s environment to support their story. Once in a while a portrait could be a tight crop but if done too frequently the information that can be gathered by the location would be lost.

If I crop too much out the viewer doesn’t understand what is going on.  The images had to alert the viewer that the photo had something to do with homelessness or I was unable to communicate about the topic. Given that the people in the photographs are clean and well dressed I still have to find ways for the audience to make the association that the subject matter is about homeless. 


My criteria is that the people could not just be homeless but had to have a shelter they created to enhance their safety and security. I had to be sure to watch what was unfolding for me and not look for a checklist to shoot. It is not my mission to project what I will discover but to wait for what opportunity and or person flows into my path.

Please check out my website for this project at http://www.marylou.us/chaos .  I also have a facebook presence at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Photographer-MaryLou-Uttermohlen/201723200603?ref=hl . This part of the project was made possible by an individual artist fellowhip of $5,000 from the State of Florida.

 

Portraiture rather than reportage

One day I disregarded the advice to avoid the crack block at the Miami River encampment and took a photograph without permission. I was watching people with the door of their home open. The river was in the background and the shanties in that area were well constructed with great carpentry. I thought that since the people in the shanty were unaware of me it made for a good shot. Or so I thought at the time.

Before long an angry man shouting in Spanglish was in my face and demanding the film. If I didn’t give it up he was going to hurt me. So I rewound the film to opened the back of my camera and gave him the leader off the roll. I was being sneaky and actually saved the shot that I latter determined wasn’t worth the effort.

I learned two things from that experience. First of all, stick with the people I am familiar with and trust. Secondly, if I’m going to be hanging out at homeless camps alone I can only photograph people who are aware of me and grant their permission. That is why my series is primarily portraiture. It tells the audience that I am present in the moment because I have permission to be there.

There was a wide range of people who would hang out with me but did not want to be photographed.  Since I am a guest in someone's home I needed to be respectful and not offend the people who’s trust I am trying to earn. So instead of creating news photographs I concentrated on my skill of working with light and trying to pull the personality of the individuals into the images.  I am co-creating a photograph with the subject as opposed to merely taking snapshots of whatever happens. The theme allows me to slow down and watch the light, the environment and the person.

Please check out my website for this project at http://www.marylou.us/chaos .  I also have a facebook presence at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Photographer-MaryLou-Uttermohlen/201723200603?ref=hl . This part of the project was made possible by an individual artist fellowhip of $5,000 from the State of Florida. .

 

Self Segregation

 

To put it simply, "like attracts like."  People surround themselves with folks who like the same things. This is true in all segments of society.

When this project began in the early 1990's there were about 1,500 people living in shantytowns in downtown Miami, Florida (USA). One particular camp along the Miami River was in a parking lot that stretched for five blocks.

There was one potty john for hundreds of residents but it was never cleaned and too disgusting to get near. There was also one open fire hydrant for water so that people drink and bath. Dog, cats, ducks and chickens also called the parking lot home.

It was pointed out to me in this camp that every block had a different theme.  The block closest to the river was the crack block. I was encouraged to avoid that area because people on crack were paranoid and unpredictable. There were three other blocks of various drug habits but I avoided them completely.

Each camp around the city had a self appointed leader that they all happened to refer to as the mayor. Once I gained the respect of the mayors my ability to hang out with residents got easier.

The camp on the Miami River had one block where all the peace loving people lived. The mayor of the block was named Bobby and he named his block “cracker court.”  He explained to me that they don’t like any trouble around there. Troublemakers were urged to move on.

Cracker Court included illegal aliens, born again Christians with their own wooden church shack, harmless mentally ill folks and alcoholics. To be honest though it was primarily alcoholics. They worked during the days. They drank after dark when I wasn’t around. They didn’t like drugs or violence.  As long as I was around Bobby’s people I felt safe.  I was told which areas and people to avoid and trusted the advice.

 

There was another camp on Watson Island where Parrot Jungle is now. That camp was also peaceful and the demographics were similar to that of Miami River’s Cracker Court. Those two locations were my favorite to photograph.  Since I was alone and I was going into people’s shanties I had to establish a mutual trust factor.

It is really an interesting concept don’t you think? People at every level of our society segregate themselves to create their comfort zones. People who are drug addicts want to be around drug addicts and those that are not want to stay away them. People really do have a way of creating structure from the chaos around them.

Please check out my website for this project at http://www.marylou.us/chaos .  I also have a facebook presence at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Photographer-MaryLou-Uttermohlen/201723200603?ref=hl . This part of the project was made possible by an individual artist fellowhip of $5,000 from the State of Florida.